I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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