walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
