I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just want nice things and good sex
Of course I have a pirate flag
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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