I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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