I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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