I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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