sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.