used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."