We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina