is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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