Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.