he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going