allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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