is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can you bring me the toilet please
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
