I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
