the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This is the high leading the old right now
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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