this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
