Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
