He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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