my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
