The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
