Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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