She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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