Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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