hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
