Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
