I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
