the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
