In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
