it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
