Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize