just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
