bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i think my mom watched the whole time
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
