Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need a beard to bite.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
