K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
be right there i have to get my cape
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize