yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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