did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
