You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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