this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
