Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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