he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
