This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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