I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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