the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
