i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
