Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
