oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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