You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize