NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
