Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
