Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
