that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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