I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize