we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
