Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
