A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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