yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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