youre lurking in front of me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
