I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
