It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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