Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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