it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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