I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
