So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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