Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish I only lived at night.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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