He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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