once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
