For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
