She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
